milesdaa.blogg.se - The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman

We must be willing to give advice but only when it is requested and never in a condescending manner.Īsk yourself, “What emotion is my spouse experiencing?” When you think you have the answer, confirm it. Words of affirmation focus on what we are saying, whereas quality conversation focuses on what we are hearing. By quality conversation, Chapman means sympathetic dialogue where two individuals are sharing their experiences, thoughts, feelings, and desires in a friendly, uninterrupted context. One of the most common dialects is that of quality conversation. Spending time with your mate in a common pursuit communicates that you care about each other, that you enjoy being with each other, that you like to do things together. If your mate’s primary love language is quality time, your spouse simply wants you, being with them, spending time. This is important because we cannot get emotional love by way of demand. You are introducing the element of choice. When you make a request of your spouse, you are affirming his or her worth and abilities. We can choose to live today free from the failures of yesterday.

Sometimes our words say one thing, but our tone of voice says another.

We must first learn what is important to our spouse. Giving verbal compliments is one way to express words of affirmation to your spouse. Verbal compliments, or words of appreciation, are powerful communicators of love. When your spouse’s emotional love tank is full and they feel secure in your love, the whole world looks bright and your spouse will move out to reach their highest potential in life.

There is nothing more powerful than loving your partner even when they’re not responding positively.Įnter your email below, and I’ll send you a free PDF summary of The 5 Love Languages.Ĭhapman is convinced that keeping the emotional love tank full is as important to a marriage as maintaining the proper oil level is to an automobile.

Your partner’s complaints are the most powerful indicators of her primary love language.

However, there is a third and better alternative: We can recognize the in-love experience for what it was-a temporary emotional high-and now pursue “real love” with our spouse.

Some couples believe that the end of the “in-love” experience means they have only two options: a life of misery with their spouse or jump ship and try again.

However, once the experience of falling in love has run its course, we return to the world of reality and begin to assert ourselves.

We have been led to believe that if we are really in love, it will last forever.

Chapman believes that once you identify and learn to speak your spouse’s primary love language, you will have discovered the key to a long-lasting, loving marriage.

After many years of marriage counseling, Chapman’s conclusion is that there are five emotional love languages-five ways that people speak and understand emotional love.